Tonight, just like most nights, it all comes playing back. All the hurt, hate, pain and loss, creeping through my head, eating me alive. My brain starts screaming ” I’m going to die! I’m going to die!” I just wanted to shut it all down. And so I did. Everything turned dark, blank and quiet. And in that very moment, I felt calm. But sometimes I start to wonder, “What if the voices get stronger, louder; the regrets, greater?” I wonder if I would still have the strength to shut it all down before it shuts me.