Octopus Dinner

Last night was such a bad game, I can’t even. I woke up 2:30 am with hope in my heart that Germany would make it to the finals. But that game crushed my heart. The last minutes I couldn’t even watch. It was too painful. I was so frustrated because we kept losing possession. We spent so much time defending (which was good defense, in all fairness), and had very few attempts at the goal. I couldn’t help but wish the Mueller was there. He could have done something, that’s for sure. But, despite this loss, I’m still so proud of Germany for making it this far, for giving us such good games, for letting us gain new friends as we all cheered for this team. I would like to give them all a hug. Klose, Schweinsteiger, Podolski, Kroos, Lahm, Özil, Neuer and everyone else.  Danke Deutschland. We’ll still be cheering on Sunday. 🙂

 

 

And of course, I’d still be watching the game on Monday and sport my FIFA eye bags. I love my Dutch boys too. Van Persie, don’t let me down.

p.s. I didn’t know World Cup could cause me so much stress. I was just in it for the boys when this all started, tbh. :))

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The Case of the Lost Pants

(Christian Ochsenfahrt | Ph: Marthe Sobczak )

So I woke up to the voice of my sister, shouting at me, saying that I lost the pants I borrowed from her. I wasn’t in the mood to fight with her so I pretended to sleep. It was 12 in the afternoon, and I still have a headache cos I stayed up all morning, watching Holland win. I tried to sleep but I can’t anymore. My sister doesn’t leave for school until an hour. I don’t want to get up. She might see me awake and I’m still to lazy to deal with her and the lost pants. So I just lied in the bed with my eye mask still on. I have nothing to do but watch the time go by. I started to think of stuff. Stuff probably unnecessary, irrelevant, but I had the time and I had nothing left to do. I think about how hard it is to pull out another all-nighter. I haven’t recovered from my lack of sleep from the previous game. But regardless if I recover or not, it’s certain I’m going to stay-up for later’s match. Klose, Podolski and Neuer will haunt me in my sleep if I miss it. Plus I have to prove the psychic octupus wanker wrong. And oh, I forgot to mention, later’s game would be an eye-candy overload. Definitely not missing that. And then right there, in the middle of my battle against myself if I’m staying up for the game, I had a realization. I am obsessed with sleep. Oh well, fine, I had that realization a long time ago already, but today I realized why I love my sleep so much. I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing. Zero. I’m thankful that I live a good life but I lack life itself. I excessively sleep  because I’m blank. I have nothing to give, nothing to offer. Not to anyone, not even to myself. I sleep to waste time. I sleep because I cannot make myself worthwhile. But don’t fret. I am not depressed or anything. Frankly, I’m relieved that I am able to realize something. Maybe soon enough, I’ll even try to make sense, for a change. haha. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. I better go.  Deutschland für Weltmeister! 

p.s.  I posted a picture of a stunning german boy in hope for a victorious germany. Go Deutschland!  😉

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Sticker Board

I’d just like to share the new background I made for my tumblr.

It looks like a sticker board, doesn’t it? 🙂 I remember when I was younger, I love collecting stickers and putting them on sticker boards. But now that I’m all grown up, I’m replacing ponies and rainbows with pretty boys. Also cos I suck at photoshop and this is the best I could do. 🙂

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Photobooth Diaries

pizza dinner

 the day i cut my bangs and it looked horrible

fake bleached eyebrows

haircut

 the day i tried to dye my hair using kool aid. haha

fake chanel ss10 nail polish

the day we had to finish a tub of cream cheese because it’s going to expire already

new dress

fin.

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Stock

random pictures from random days

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Less is More

The new Versace Campaign is just stunning. This just had to be in my blog.

(Versace FW10 | Marcel Castenmiller and Tomek Szczukiecki | ph: Mario Testino | via thefashionisto)

p.s. So if ever some of you are waiting for my Paris review, I am very sorry to tell you that I wont be doing it anymore because I am a lazy girl. But in case anyone’s interested my favorite for Paris was Songzio, followed by Kenzo, then Damir Doma. 🙂

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Heartburn

( Tom Nicon | ph: Agnese Mazzenzana)

I wonder how people I don’t even know and the things happening to them can make such an impact in my life. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the most shallow person on earth.

Today, rather, tonight, I’m feeling incredibly sad by the loss of a person I did not even know. I can feel it through my chest, crawling to my neck, eating me alive. I can’t deal. I don’t have the strength. Not yet. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. A pain so uncontrollable, you forget about everything. Language. Love. Life. It pierces first, through your skin, then deeply through your bones, and ever more deeply until it reaches your core, a pain growing stronger and stronger, until you can’t take no more.

I can’t help it but cry. I am not capable of dealing with this. Dealing with death. Over and over again, I tell myself to be ready. I tell myself it wouldn’t be so bad when it happens. I keep on repeating what Mr. Wilde said “Forget time. Forgive life. Live at peace.” But I am not capable. I am not ready. Not for me. Not for anyone.

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